Asphalt Anger and the New Me

When I get a driver behind me who likes to ride my ass, I tap my brakes.  You know, just to say, “Hey, you are a bit close and I don’t like it.”  Especially if I’m alone in the car.  Yesterday, I was driving back from the VA in Durham when I get this guy in a white Mercedes behind me, with his daughter sitting in the front passenger seat, who speeds up behind me and gets right on my bumper.  I’m not known for driving the speed limit or slower, which means that I’m already going at least ten miles an hour over the speed limit on the interstate.  The lane to my right was ending, but there was nobody on it.  This guy felt that he HAD to go faster than I was going RIGHT NOW.  He also felt he knew better than I, how fast I should be driving if I was to share the road with him.  So, I tapped my brakes and shook my head.  Well, he didn’t like that and he laid on the horn.  And gave me The Finger.

I stepped on the brakes.  He almost rear-ended me which, in the great state of North Carolina, would have cost him dearly.  He swerved to the right on the ending lane, sped up and tried to go around.  Except there was an unmarked cop car sitting on the shoulder of the interstate.  On the side of the lane that was abruptly coming to an end.  Mr. Dumbass proceeds to slam on his brakes creating an impressive smoke screen, which I presume he was going to use to screen his car from the cop car perhaps.  Then, he cuts off a car in his attempt to swerve to the left to try to get around me me again (I haven’t done anything at this point except drive the same speed and maintain my lane this whole time) and almost slams into the back of another car to my left.  Oh, it was a trooper’s car, all marked up and pretty with the blue lights on top.  I haven’t been given the ol’ pull over routine because I’m keeping up with traffic, but the guy in the white Mercedes doesn’t fare well.  The state trooper pulls over to the right, getting in front of me and allowing Jack Ass to pass us both.  As he does, he is glaring at me.  I politely wave and smile.  Then I point to the trooper’s car in front of me and mouth, ”YOU’RE FUCKED!”  I smile and just wave again as he continues by me and the trooper, who then turns on his lights and chirps his siren.  The Mercedes pulls over with its driver in a state of profound anger that even impresses me, and I have had my share of episodes.

Ah,  it’s true.  You can catch a lot more dumb shits with honey.  And a state trooper.

A footnote to this post is that the unmarked car had managed to get behind the guy, just following him or perhaps waiting to turn HIS lights and siren on.  Either way, the guy got TWO law enforcement officers’ attention and it was sweet!  I wish I could have video-ed the whole episode so that you could all see how much fun it was.

~ by kyodan75 on July 2, 2010.

One Response to “Asphalt Anger and the New Me”

  1. I would have LOVED to see a video of this! HA!

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